(Partially real and mostly imaginary)
Just when I thought I wouldn’t be opening my WP for another week, here I am. That’s how resolution’s work with me.
By now you should all be knowing that I far from being the best employee but then I am not the worst either. Our department is the smallest dept. ever in this whole world. It comprises of us two young lads; one brown man (ie me) and a white guy. We feel so lonely and lost in this crowded world but then the golden rule is that lesser the number of people in your dept. the less bs you have to deal with. So true. The only thing I like about our job apart from getting paid.
So Saturday morning after I am at the office and a couple of hours later my colleague calls me. He has been on and off from work for a while. Coming late and stuff like that. So he is like…
‘Hey man, what’s up?’
Nothing much… where the hell are you?
I am on my way. I’ll be there in a bit. I was in the other office, just left there now.
OK. HR manager was asking for you. He has a nice letter for you.
At this point, he thinks that it’s a letter of termination of services and he took my words very seriously as he was expecting something from HR for his recent absence from work, for which he definitely had a reason. HR dept. never investigates on reasons. They just take actions, mostly wrong. That’s how it works in most organization’s. After hanging up, he calls me again in a bit.
What letter are we talking about here?
I am like, ‘Letter of love (read termination)’
I just fucking called him and he has no idea.
Did you really call him, you dumbass? I was kidding.
What? You serious? arghhh …..
What did you tell him?
I just called him and asked him where he was. He said he was in the office where I was ten minutes ago. I told him not to lie as I didn’t see him there. At this point I thought you were right and he was fucking around with me. I told him to stop being an asshole and tell me if I got fired. He was like… wtf I am just in the parking lot now. I was like …don’t lie you bastard. And again he was like … what the fuck are you on about? I told him that I’ll get back to him….
All this while I was laughing my gut out. I couldn’t believe he called the guy cos I used to tell this to him all the time as a joke and today he went ahead and called him and put sweet little words through his head. lol
‘Bro you are real asshole…well done!’
All I could do was laugh and then
Oops! I guess someone is gonna get a nice letter now.
‘I’ll see you in a bit’
He happens to be a professional boxer and hence I put in my leave for the rest of the day and called it a day.